A Southern, effeminate, sports / political / celebrity analyst who knows everything about nothing and just isn’t sure “Who’s gonna win”

SNL, The Daily Show, Mad TV

Some of the most overdone, absurd, hilarious, take-themselves-way-too-seriously people on television are “analysts.” They typically come in two major forms–sports and political. However, your red-carpet, awards pre-show analysis could certainly qualify. These people’s jobs are to make unsubstantiated predictions about which candidate-team-celebrity will come out ahead in the race, game or awards show. They pick apart every imaginable nuance about the subject from clothing to sex life to what they looked like, said or did in the eighth grade.

These commentators have inspired the idea of a recurring character we’ll call Steve Small.

Steve is an effeminate, Southern man who specializes in color commentary on sports broadcasts, red-carpet interviews with celebrities before major awards shows, and on-the-street interviews with everyman to get people’s opinions on who they think might win.

Steve’s forte is in the detailed analysis of every imaginable aspect of the contest and contenders at hand. However, his analysis tends to focus on those details that have no relevancy on the actual outcome of the contest.

Steve’s downfall is that he can never fully commit to a prediction. He begins strongly down one road, making you think that he is pulling for the person he is “analyzing,” but then makes a quick turn to second-guess himself. This contradiction always leads him into his phrase: “I just don’t know who’s gonna win!”

Here is a video of my interpretation of Steve….enjoy.